3 Reasons Why You Shouldnt Ask to Pick My Brain

3 Reasons Why You Shouldnt Ask to Pick My Brain Can I plattl your brain seems to be having a moment. Its the phrase all the cool kids are using, replacing other famous requests like Can you be my mentor? Or Can you connect over coffee? Or Can you please recommend me for this job? You know, even though we may have never met.Someone who I have never met asked me the other day over email if they could just plek my brain for a few minutes Just a few minutes of my time, they promised a few times in the elende.I almost responded I am not sure if you want to pick my brain. After being woken up three times last night once by my daughter and twice by my son Im not sure there is anything left to pick at. Since I cant even remember the password to my laptop at the moment, I am not going to be of much help.Since Ive never met this person, since we dont know anyone in common and since we dont work at the same company, I decided not to respond to the request. Friendly reminder this is not ghosti ng. You can only ghost people you have actually met or know. Heres the thing I am all for brain picking, brainstorming, being a sounding board, coaching and helping. But I only let those I know very well pick my brain.My employer? Well, they pay me to pick my brain. My community of friends? Thats what we do. We unconditionally support each other, collaborate and give unsolicited advice best done over a Starbucks beverage or cocktail, for me. And, of course, my family? They have 24/7 access to me and my brain.So while everyone else is running around asking can I pick your brain?, here are the three reasons why you shouldnt ask to pick mine1. Because you dont know me or you have never actually met me.If you send me a cold email introduction or LinkedIn message asking for time to pick my brain, I am likely going to say no. And yes, thats not a maybe or a try me in two weeks. Its a hard no.Tip If I really want to meet someone or get to know someone, try to see if someone in your networ k can help facilitate an introduction. 2. Because you just want me to give you ideas for free.Maybe you dont have the money to pay for a consultant. Maybe you dont have money to pay for a coach. Maybe you dont have money to hire mora people on your team. Maybe I seem like a nice enough person who will give you some ideas for free. A few years after I graduated from business school, a prestige beauty company heavily pursued me. I had three rounds of interviews, the end assignment being a strategy deck to see how I think. Mysteriously, after I submitted my beautiful deck, the position went on hold. My husband said Ah, so they picked your brain and got your ideas for free. I hate when he is right, which happens to be a lot of the time. So, I am super cautious of who I give my ideas to when and why.Tip Dont be an idea thief. Thats all I have to say on that.3. Because you havent thought about whats in it for me.If you pick my brain, can I pick your brain back? Do I even want to pick your brain? Have you thought about how we can collaborate together or how this could be mutually beneficial? Now every conversation I leave, no matter what the nature of the meeting, I always ask how can I be helpful to you?Tip Understand what value you can bring into the conversation and be clear on what you can offer in return.While brain picking might be the hot new trend, think about why and how and with who you engage in this request. And remember, some trends arent always a good look shoulder pads, acid-washed jeans and scrunchies were never a good look for me.